Let God Be Strong Where I Am Weak

I rode a bike today and realized I am weak as hell. I hate to admit it, but so much strength has left my body over these last three years, and I haven't had the wherewithal to push forward and grow—so entropy has been inevitable. I care so deeply about having health and vitality in my body, but I make all kinds of excuses about why I can't. Including this injury. I am about done with this pathetic shit though. All I have to focus on is God, my life, my daughter, and my health.

But here's the thing—when I actually stopped to look at my day, I realized how much I actually do. The enemy has me convinced that I don't do enough, that I'm lazy, that I'm failing. That's bullshit. I do so much. It's just another tactic to keep me defeated, to keep me from recognizing the progress I'm making. I am done being bamboozled and working for the enemy.

I say that all the time though, don't I? "I'm done." Just like David in the Bible—crying out to God, falling, getting back up, falling again. I be like, "Damn, again dude?" But I am him and he is me. I feel it. We keep messing up but we keep progressing, and that's how God shows us His unfailing faithfulness. He doesn't give up on us even when we give up on ourselves.

The struggle with faithfulness is real. It takes a while to see the fruits of the seeds we sow, and if you're impatient like I have been known to be, you will give up before you get to see the fruits. But Galatians 6:9 reminds us, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

I keep getting the message to stay consistent and not to covet. To work on my mission and concentrate on what God is doing in my life. When I focus on that, I see just how far I have come. Though my body is weaker than I have ever known it to be, I have healed tremendously. The weakness I see in my physical body doesn't tell the whole story—spiritually, I'm stronger than I've ever been.

Going to war spiritually ain't no joke, and I may have had a few rough battles, but ultimately I came out a winner. Why? Because I had the Lord on my side. People get their asses whooped in spiritual warfare because they go in unarmed and uncovered—not activating the glorious grace that the Lord provides. 2 Corinthians 10:4 tells us, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds."

It sounds easy enough to lay it down and let God fight through you, but our pride resists. We attempt to do it all on our own, in our own will without God, and get pummeled. Which explains a lot of my battle wounds. I went into fights thinking I could handle it myself, and I got my ass handed to me. God doesn't promise us that we will come out unscathed, but we definitely have His unwavering favor when we fight His way, not ours.

Change is inevitable and we are in a constant process of change. Allowing is necessary. I am learning to do that more and more, and letting God be strong where I am weak has proven itself the only way to make it out of the battle on the other side. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

That's the paradox, isn't it? My physical weakness, my failures, my battle scars—they're not signs that I'm losing. They're proof that I'm in the fight, and that God's strength is what's carrying me through.

Spiritual maturity doesn't come without a cost, but it is well worth the price that has to be paid. Matthew 13:44-46 says, "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

So I'll ask you what I'm asking myself: Will you pay the price it takes for you to have a peaceful life eternally? I know I am. One healing moment at a time. One holy instant at a time.